The romantic relationship stages between empathicists and narcissists

Empathicists and narcissists: Two very different types of people, and yet empathicists are often trapped in such a relationship. Empathic people are extremely sensitive to the world and their emotions and can internalize the emotional experiences of others as if they were their own.

Narcissists, on the other hand, are extremely self-absorbed people and tend to manipulate others to serve their own, selfish needs. They need to be cared for and admired. The reasons we end up with each other are complex, but it is often related to the fact that narcissists are hurt people who need each other’s attention and empathizers are straightforwardly willing to help.

There are 18 development stages of the relationship between those two types of people. The example is about the relationship between an empathic female and a male narcissist.

  1. Attraction

The narcissist attracts the empathetic and there a relationship begins to develop. The empathetic person feels reassured that someone needs him or her; at first, he or she feels valued for their care. A strong sense of unconditional love for the narcissist begins to develop, and the latter has no intention of reciprocating that love, even if it seems like he does.

2. The illusion

As the relationship continues, the empathetic person will begin to feel as if a true bond has been established between them and to believe that he has finally met the love of her life. The narcissistic person will create the illusion that he is the perfect match and will wear that mask that he wants the exact same relationship with the empathic, while his goal will be to be in control.

3. Manipulation

In time, the narcissist will want to break the self-esteem of the empathic. He will never attack him immediately, but will make comments that will challenge the choices and abilities of the empathizer, until finally the latter begins to doubt himself. He will feel weak, but also lucky to have the narcissist in his life, thus creating an unhealthy addiction.

4. Control

Once the narcissist takes control, he will play the role of the victim and will be nourished by the need of the empath to take care of him, to be always present for him. This turns into a continuous cycle of manipulation.

5. Failure

The empath will have pure intentions of love and will do everything he can to help the narcissist because he does not see clearly. The truth is that unfortunately, the narcissist does not see that he is hurt, that there is something he has to face. The empathizer will never be able to cure him.

6. The trap

The relationship reaches the point where everything now concerns the narcissist. It all revolves around his needs, wants, decisions. The empathetic person begins to realize this over time. But he hates hurting others or making someone dislike him. That is why he will continue to satisfy the narcissist, even if he is unhappy in the relationship.

7. The cycle

The more the empathic person gives, the more control the narcissist gains. The cycle of manipulation will continue, sucking every action from the empathic, and this until the situation reaches its limit.

8. Conversion

The empathetic person will finally raise the tone of his voice, he will defend himself. He will also feel depressed, tired, and will finally have seen that in fact his own needs have never been met. The illusion of the relationship will collapse and her real face will be revealed. The narcissist does not like this conversion at all.

9. It is never enough

Narcissists are people who constantly need attention and will do everything in their power to be satisfied, especially when it comes to relationships. Their ego will always need something more.

10. Back to the 3rd level

When the empath begins to articulate and express everything that bothers him, the narcissist will deal with it, degrading him, calling him “paranoid,” “crazy,” so that he can discourage him and continue the cycle of manipulation.

11. Psychological abuse

The empath begins to feel guilty about everything that goes wrong in the relationship, that he is not good enough and worthy of being loved. He fails to understand that he is being manipulated. He can no longer see the control imposed on him. At this point, the narcissist has made the empathic feel like he’s the bad guy. She blames him for what goes wrong, to have the upper hand.

12. Retreat

The empathizer will take a step back to try to work out everything he feels. He will understand how lost and hurt he feels. It will take time for some results.

13. Healing

Empathic people are considered the healers of society. They have the power and ability to heal others. They can find the same ability for themselves. To do this, they need to sometimes back off, to give up this work, to protect themselves.

14. Realization

As the empathizer works to heal her wounds, she realizes the bitter truth of their relationship. They need to face the fact that what they have is not authentic.

15. Real victim

At this crucial point, the empathizer will finally realize who the victim of the relationship was.

16. The End

When she also realizes that the narcissist will never change, that she is not the one to help him, the painful awakening comes. The one that will lead him to separation.

17. Afterwards

The narcissist will go on, finding another victim who will satisfy his needs, which the only thing he cares generally.

18. The change

The empathetic person still has a lot of work to do with himself, but if she does not give up, she will come out stronger, wiser, and more careful. This means that it will be harder for her to fall into the same trap again in the future.



What is criminology?

Criminology (from Latin crīmen, “accusation”, and Ancient Greek -λογία, -logy|-logia, from “logos” meaning: “word,” “reason,” or “plan”) is the study of crime and deviant behavior. Criminology is an interdisciplinary field in both the behavioral and social sciences, which draws primarily upon the research of sociologists, psychologists, philosophers, psychiatrists, biologists, social anthropologists, as well as scholars of law. (Wikipedia, 2020).

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