Cry me a River #1

Driiiiin driiiiiiin
Oh, my God! My head is so heavy… It’s Friday and I have to wake up.. but I don’t want to…
Five minutes later, I am in the lovely kitchen grabbing a huge cup of black coffee, a delicious piece of cake full of chocolate and calories, and my secret cigarettes for the hard times. It’s OK to let yourself smoke a little when you are a mess, isn’t?

But what I really want is just go back to sleep and the next time I’ll get up last night events would have never happened.
But they have. I am so sentimentally confused and physically exhausted by crying all night that can’t describe it. I am literally in shock! The only thing I can hear inside my mind is “You’re a fool! You’re a big fat fool! The love of your life never existed. Your love story was a lie! JUST A LIE!”
It doesn’t feel right or fair. It doesn’t make sense either.